| Early recovery is better than active addiction. |
[Feb. 26th, 2008|01:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | studio | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | colourful | ] |
Hi!
Time to post yo! I've been living my life the hard way since my last post. Being drug free is a hell of alot easier than living with the guilt and shame of knowing you are fucking with your own wellbeing. Drugs are fucking evil. Having to hold onto the secret that I busted from my loved ones has been taking up 95% of my energy. The other 5% of my energy was wasted on hating myself intensly. Narcotics anonymous has relieved alot of those feelings though and I feel much better and more open to talking about it now. I still havn't told one of my best friends (probably reading this now) but I am building myself up to doing it next time I see him. I had six months clean up and now i am currently nine days clean. Can't wait to be six months again!
I spent the weekend staying very busy at NA meetings and spending time with friends ect. I drove around too much in my car dropping people off and picking people up and now i do not want to drive for a very long time. The back tyre of my bike went flat so i'll be going by foot most places. I finished another canvas today and might be selling one of my others (that I do not even like that much) for sixty dorrah.
Sweeeet sweeeeet candy!
That's about all I have to say for now.
Much love homies! oxo |
|
|
| bye! |
[Feb. 18th, 2008|02:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
Hey hey! This'll be my last post before i go off on my 80 km coastal hike. Yep, pretty hardcore. Me and four other women will be embarking on an eleven day trek along the southern coast of Australia. I am not looking forward to carrying my back pack which weighs all of around 22kg, but the idea was to be out of my comfort zone. My life has been a bit a bit blurry over the last few weeks so I am also in need of some time out to decide what it is I want and need to do. I am struggling more than i'd like to admit oxo |
|
|
| ah the serenity |
[Jan. 29th, 2008|03:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
Another day at the studio and I have completed one more set of Gameboy stencils, this time on a sheet! Yes, the type you clothe your bed with. It's a nice sheet. It has little red love hearts all over it which I thought would be very appropriate as a canvas. Two friends of mine are travelling up to brisbane this weekend for an exibition and they wanted something of mine to take with them :) Go forth Gameboy stencils, REPRESENT Megageekee!!! With limited colours and cans to use it turned out quite well. I had a fabulous long weekend, spending time with some of my favourite people. I am very much looking forward to next weekend as Loscha is taking me to see Sweeny Tod (!!!!!!) and then dinner after :) He and Mitten saw it on the weekend and apparently it is amazing so i can't wait! I'm babysitting Ebony-Jane tonight and tomorrow the studio will be shut which is a bit of a downer as I have heaps of work to do. I will hand out some resumes around the collingwood, fitzroy, carlton area instead and then maybe even get some paid work...... Yup!
Ciao for now! oxo |
|
|
| i'm hot, in both ways :) |
[Jan. 9th, 2008|12:57 pm] |
i just rode my bike up the hill on langridge street on my way to the art studio and i think i'm gonna die. No not really, i'm just the most unfittest person i know at the moment. It has been about a year since i have ridden my beautiful Ladybird bike and i forgot how much effort is required to peddle. I retrieved it from Earthenwares backyard the day before yesterday and it has become mega rusty but it is still so trusty and i love it!
I'm posing for photo's today in my new electric blue party dress. My bestie Kristen is submitting some photo's for the digital art exhibition that is being held in March. I love photo's so I was happy to volunteer as a model for the project.
I was thinking of Loscha this morning and praying that he got the job he went for yesterday. They'd have to be fricken idiots to knock him back for that position i say!
Ok, gotta go pose :) oxo |
|
|
| Day 8/13 |
[Jan. 1st, 2008|02:30 pm] |
shitfuck! I am so bored.
but I also feel so loved. New years was not so much of a letdown this year. I'm reminded of how many loving, caring people i have in my life with all the texts and phone calls i've been recieving. Speaking of friends, my friend Mo mo Murphy messaged me from the sunshine coast last night and i am hoping to arrange a drive up there to see Max (her son) and her before I leave this shithole of a state. She sent me big love ups and it'd be awsome to catch up with her.
My best friend Kristen phoned yesterday to tell me she'd cut all her dread locks off. I've been suggesting she do this for weeks so I was very excited to hear that she finally did it. I can't wait to see the results. I miss her so much. I love how her beautiful daughter Ebony-Jane calls me Aunty Hayley. I've pretty much decided i'm never having children. They are way too demanding and I am way too self-centred to put their needs in front of my own. It would be a disaster. I'm going to go and watch some more crappy cable while i have the chance. After today I will be back at my mums house with no spa and no computer. Gay x 10.
Love your Ladybug oxo |
|
|
| I had to do it. |
[Dec. 31st, 2007|06:39 pm] |
I changed my flight home to Sunday the 6th of january. That's less than one week away. The tenth (previous return home date) was OVER a week away and I just couldn't sit with that. Call me indecisive, impulsive, unwilling to commit to set plans, prone to changing my mind ect ect ect. I don't care! I'll cop to it. Just be happy for me.....please! And remind me to never book a holiday in Queensland exceeding seven days ever again and i'll love you forever (and ever and ever)! :)
I watched Stanley Kubricks The Shining for the first time not stoned on christmas day and again on the 27th and it was greater than just great with one of these ! The special features where extra cool as Wendy Carlos (Edward Loscha ljuser, I give you many prop for knowing about such interesting people and introducing me them) AND her cats where on there, along with this whack instrument she built especially for the project. Apparently Stanley was very fond of her cats too. How sweet.
I watched the Notorius Betty Page on dvd today. Now I want to be an innocent little jesus loving pin up girl from the fifties! I also watched This is England. The kid who plays Shaun is soooo adorable! He's got that really attractive odd looking thing going on and the character he plays has a fuck off punk rock attitude (with pommy accent). I love him! The next Edward Furlong I say. My third viewing was The Simpsons Movie (finally). It was as good as i expected it to be and I'd just like to say when it comes to boys, i AM Lisa Simpson. Swooning is such fun.
The highlight of my day yesterday was swinging my little brother around in circles by his hands and accidently making him throw up. It was only a little bit and he swallowed it back down like a trooper. Cinnamon is now affectionately known as Cinny-minny-moo. Has a nice ring to it don't you think? Mum bought me an electric blue mini skirt today. I rushed home and undid the hem to show a little less leg but despite this it is still the shortest skirt i own. It will look awsome with knee high white socks or bright fishnet tights. Yay!
Love from your Ladybug oxo |
|
|
| Day 3/16 |
[Dec. 26th, 2007|03:07 pm] |
I'm back at my Aunt and Uncles house, yay! There is so much food left over and we came over to eat as there are no supermarkets open here! (except IGA which mum was not going to pay extra for what I wanted, despite how convienient it would have been) I was also shocked to hear that the shops are closed on Sundays. I mean ALL the shops, including supermarkets. I'm so used to living the city :)
So far no replies from the messages I sent out to Toowoomba lj users that seemed kinda interesting. I did however find out that their is street press called LOUD and that i can get it from my nearest brothers nelson store, ha ha ha! You can also find it at some random music stores which is where i shall be getting mine from. For those of you who don't Know what brothers nelson it is a surf shop.
My cousin Lindsay has an emo boyfriend :) Just thought that was worth mentioning.
My brother and sister are so extremely cute, they really are. Cinnamon is going to be so gorgeous when she grows up. I reckon she'll look just like me but with blue eyes he he he. My friend Joel has been messaging me alot. He's a nice guy and I am very gratefull for all the interesting new people I have met since I left Odyssey House. To all my old friends who are reading this, I love you too!
I'm going to do more searching oxo |
|
|
| I'm in fucking QLD! |
[Dec. 25th, 2007|07:20 pm] |
|
ye-he-hes, i am in qeensland. Day two of sixteen and I am home sick already, no surprise. I was pretty emotional yesterday. My mums life at the moment is seemingly very conventional. Nice house, kids, car, family ect. So far removed from what I experienced growing up with her. I had feelings of overwhelming relief and cried alot before I passed out on her sofa bed. Today I am feeling much more my usual self. I spent time on teh interweb sussing out the arts music scene here in toowoomba and yes! There is live music and bands and thank God, a university which harbours creative, forward thinking and open minded people. Just the type I am attracted to :) So......I may not re-book my return flight back to Melbourne at an earlier date as yet oxo |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Dec. 10th, 2007|01:43 pm] |
I'm feeling great.
It took me an hour and a half to clean my smallish kitchen this morning and I just realised I forgot to tick my little box on the cleaning roster. One of my housemates is so rad she has devised a cleaning roster where our names are rotated and we have one designated area of the house to clean per week with one week off per month. This makes my life easier (as I tend to forget what and when my commitments are) and I love her for it. Joe is one of my new best friends and he keeps buggin g me to get a myspace page but I am choosing to say no to myspace. Whether or not this is a smart move is debatable. I'm going now. I have a stencil to finish oxo |
|
|
| goodmorning lj users |
[Nov. 30th, 2007|08:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | thankful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | breakfasters | ] |
I'm finding it a wee bit strange using the shiny white computers in Collingwood but can kinda see why the kids flip over them. Ive been keeping up my therapy in various different ways but my moods are still hella erratic, something I'm working on managing. The psychiatrist at Odyssey diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder which I can deal with as long as I maintain healthy relationships with people who are caring and supportive. I also need to stay aware of my thought processes, be gentle on myself and slow the fuck down. My mind seems to think I can do ten million things all at once which is impossible and unnecessary. I'm feeling happy and proud of the progress I've made since I left Odyssey. I'm also feeling very grateful for the support and encouragement I've received from friends and loved ones. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
ladybugoxo's journal
blank